I Think I’ll Curl Up and Diet
For years, I’ve said weight, much like age, is just a number. “What matters is how I feel,” I’ve said. Do I have enough energy? Can I move around comfortably? Do my clothes fit? As long as I could answer “yes” to those questions, the status quo sufficed. My bathroom scale – otherwise known as … Read more
Growth Forces Sale, Make an Offer!
For sale: 2 cubic feet of cellulite. Expansion forces sacrifice of this sizable collection. I’m willing to entertain all serious offers, but must confess I’ve become quite attached. Might make good insulation for custom building project or filling for overstuffed chair? Lovely cottage-cheese texture may make acceptable substitute for popcorn ceiling. No phone calls, please – … Read more
Forget Gitmo… I’ve Been Bikini Shopping
So… they’re closing Gitmo. Rumor has it United States government agencies have been engaging in some pretty inhumane tactics at Guantanamo Bay Detention Facility in the hope of extracting information from detainees about alleged terrorist activities. Why does a leading world power like the United States waste resources on questionable physical and psychological tactics, which … Read more
Mommy Makeover
It will never happen, but sometimes I dream of signing up for one of those cosmetic surgery reality shows, and getting THE WORKS. I look way too old for my age… Motherhood years must be like dog years. Being a mom is tough on the body, for sure. The stretch marks that cover my butt … Read more
