Someday, I Won’t Be Here To…
Dear Mr. Wright and kids: In the event of my untimely demise or incapacitation, I am leaving the following list of instructions. Put them in a safe place – you’ll need them. 1. The toilet paper roll is held in place by a spindle. When one roll is empty, you may replace it with a … Read more
All the Wright Moves
The homeschooling next-door neighbors with six kids and the homeschooling family across the street with six kids laid hands on the huge trailer attached to our Suburban. They prayed for our safety, and thanked the Lord that we were leaving. Our northern Snohomish County community was nice enough, but we really were the freaks of … Read more
More Evidence for My Insanity Plea: Premonitions
Look, I’m not saying I’m clairvoyant or anything. What I am saying is that sometimes I have dreams, and they come true. My grandmother was known to read tea leaves and, by all accounts, was quite accurate. Most of the time, I don’t actually remember the particulars of a “seeing” dream until I’m in the … Read more
Wife, Mother… Exhibitionist
To date, I have subjected three generations of Wright men to the horror of my naked body. My husband, the middle Wright, seems unharmed by the experience, but it’s unlikely that the eldest and youngest of the clan escaped permanent scarring. Neighbors, parcel deliverymen and some unsuspecting Jehovah’s Witnesses have also been victimized, but I … Read more
Losing It
It will come as no surprise to me when I wake up one morning to find our laptop computer, our Ford Expedition, and every piece of identification my family owns have been stolen in one fell swoop. It’s a loss just waiting to happen, and there is nothing I can do about it. We live … Read more
How Many Steps to a Denise Austin Butt?
Today alone, I made the following trips up and down the steps in my house, all before 9:00 a.m.: Up the stairs with the babies to feed them breakfast, back down to get them dressed. Up to get their sippy cups filled with milk, back down to put them in the diaper bag. Up to … Read more
