My Mom Tried to Buy Me Porn for Christmas
Photo by D Sharon Pruitt As a writer, I know the difference one single letter can make. Maya, a dear friend and publisher, once printed a thousand copies of a book in which “taping” was accidentally typed “raping.” That, my friends, is why I read my work out loud before I run it, as often as possible. … Read more
I Wore Flowers in My Hair; They Made Me Sneeze
Growing up, I always suspected I was born about thirty years too late. I imagined I would have been a wonderful flower child; barefoot, braless and sticking daisies in the barrels of rifles. Now that I’m grown up, I hate going without shoes, and my post-nursing breasts demand a brassiere. As if that weren’t enough … Read more
The Curse of the Mothers
(Yeah, that’s me. That photo was taken in May of my senior year of high school. What a hottie, huh?) When I was about sixteen years old, my mother expressed her earnest desire that, someday, I would have a daughter just like me. I wish I could say that her statement was a well-wishing of … Read more
Belts Are the New Lace Panties
I’m not one to admit defeat easily, but I must confess that I am still unable to comprehend the fashion sense of today’s teens. Chalk another point for the generation gap. The jeans boys must – and do – wear are loose enough to hang halfway off boxer shorts-clad buttocks. When I first saw this … Read more
I’m Much Too Young to Feel This Damn Old
ALERT: There is absolutely no humor in this post. It’s nothing but a “The Gonzo Mama feeling sorry for herself” post. You’ve been warned. I can’t really say when this feeling began. Perhaps the breaking point was waking up one morning and finding that I’d become the un-expectant mother of seven children at the ripe … Read more
What Generation Gap?
Staying on the cutting edge of parental coolness is hard work, but I’m committed. In fact, I go out of my way to let my kids know how hip I am, and I’m dedicated to bridging the so-called Generation Gap. What is that, anyway? Sure, there’s a world of difference between my parents’ generation and … Read more
