I Just Wrote About My Sex Life for a Sex Toy Site. I’m Sorry, Mom.
I think I’m taking embarrassing my parents to a whole new level. In fact, if it ever becomes an Olympic sport, I’m a shoo-in. Can’t you just see it? Anyway, I wrote about Christian sex, and how it’s not boring and is, in fact, quite the opposite for married couples with a sense of adventure. … Read more
Growth Forces Sale, Make an Offer!
For sale: 2 cubic feet of cellulite. Expansion forces sacrifice of this sizable collection. I’m willing to entertain all serious offers, but must confess I’ve become quite attached. Might make good insulation for custom building project or filling for overstuffed chair? Lovely cottage-cheese texture may make acceptable substitute for popcorn ceiling. No phone calls, please – … Read more
Bury Me Not on the Lone Prairie… Or Anywhere Else, for That Matter
Last night I bought a copy of Elizabethtown at StuffMart. Perhaps it’s a sign of my rapidly accelerated aging process in the last few years, but the first time I saw the movie, I really keyed in to the great music, the Paul Varjak/Holly Golightly-type almost-romance between two beautiful people who were truly friends first, and the … Read more
Perhaps We’ve Been Married Too Long
A few days ago, I found myself with some extra time. Instead of contemplating the rose garden I never intend to plant, outlining my next novel, or polishing my shoes, I decided to take a shower. That’s right – it was before bedtime for the toddlers, and I managed to steal away into the shower. … Read more
Pillow Talk With The Gonzo Mama: It’s Hot. I Know.
What do the parents of seven children talk about in bed? You wouldn’t believe me, if I told you. Take last night for example. Instead of falling promptly asleep, I was seized by a fit of giggles. Mr. Wright: What’s so funny? Me: I was just thinking how bad it would suck if a person … Read more
Shave and a Haircut…
… two bits TOO BAD. There I am, in all my makeup-free, split-end glory. I’m very aware of the fact that I need to get it cut before we go to Japan next month, but I’m sort of stalling. For no good reason, in fact. It’s not that I don’t want my hair cut. It’s … Read more
I Can’t Take Her Anywhere: Guest Post by Mr. Wright
What’s it like, living with a troublemaker like The Gonzo Mama? Why not ask my guest blogger, Mr. Wright? I can’t take her anywhere. If there is one thing I can say about The Gonzo Mama, it is that I cannot take her anywhere, at least without her causing a scene of epic proportions. I … Read more
Top 10 Reasons Why I’m Better Than a Deadbeat Mom
Maybe there are some deadbeat moms out there that I just can’t compete with. I haven’t met them all. For purposes of this list, I suppose I’ll just compare myself to one. Let’s call her… oh, I don’t know… Satan? That seems a natural enough fit. That photo isn’t her, by the way. Satan wasn’t … Read more
Ignorance is Dangerous. So is Standing Up Against It.
This is the second post in a row that I’ve started with a disclaimer. That seriously has to stop. Nonetheless, here we go. I’m going to post some photos in here that might be disturbing to some. If you don’t think you can handle the image of a man’s face that appears to have another … Read more
…And You Know Who You Are
I apologize in advance for my use of the f-bomb (the one used in homophobic language). Dear readers, for whom I have always tried to keep things at least PG-13, I am talking to you. Circumstances leave me no choice. If you anticipate being offended, please stop reading. Are you still here? Okay. You’ve proceeded … Read more
