Bad Gratitude Monday: A Fearless Kid
I spent the summer of 1994 in the library at Fairchild Air Force Base, where Pockets’s dad was stationed, because I was 19 years old, enormously pregnant, and on a quest to read every book on pregnancy and childbirth that the United States military saw fit to stack on its shelves. Plus, the library was … Read more
Somebody is Always Broken or Bleeding
Last night I cut my finger while slicing a loaf of bread. It’s not an unusual event. In fact, I fillet myself quite frequently. If Mr. Wright had his way, my kitchen tools would be pared down to rolling pins and spoons, though I frequently manage to find a way to injure myself with those, … Read more
Orange You Glad I Didn’t Say "Banana?"
This is the dawning of the Age of the Knock-Knock Jokethe Age of the Knock-Knock Joke the Age of the Knock-Knock Joooooooke… And so, it begins. At the age of four, Pockets started making up his own knock-knock jokes. They were really good, too, like: Knock-knock! Who’s there? Moo! Moo who? It’s me, A COW! … Read more
Mommy Masochism: Piece of Cake?
What kind of an insomnia-plagued masochist would work through the night, forgoing sleep and the promise of sweet dreams, baking and decorating custom cakes for four children who probably aren’t as interested in the cakes’ appearance as in the cakes’ taste? A mother; that’s what kind of masochist. The closure of Beebe Bridge delayed the … Read more
Belts Are the New Lace Panties
I’m not one to admit defeat easily, but I must confess that I am still unable to comprehend the fashion sense of today’s teens. Chalk another point for the generation gap. The jeans boys must – and do – wear are loose enough to hang halfway off boxer shorts-clad buttocks. When I first saw this … Read more
But… I’m Not Dead Yet! (Oh, and We Named the Babies!)
I’ve been laying low lately, processing and planning. Have also been working on some freelance projects. Rest assured, dear readers – I have not forgotten you. There are, simply put, some things I just have to sort out in a forum more private than TheGonzoMama.com – like my own chaotic head – before I can … Read more
Mommy Makeover
It will never happen, but sometimes I dream of signing up for one of those cosmetic surgery reality shows, and getting THE WORKS. I look way too old for my age… Motherhood years must be like dog years. Being a mom is tough on the body, for sure. The stretch marks that cover my butt … Read more
The Center for Disease… whatever.
I am pleased to inform you that my family has survived the wretched Flu Epidemic of 2008. Hmm? What’s that? You say you didn’t hear there was an epidemic? Did you miss it on CNN? I’ll recap: Monday AM – Two year-old, Snugglebug, begins projectile vomiting. Monday PM – Three year-old, Curlytop, joins her sister. … Read more
