“My Dad has a Yacht of Girls”
Curlytop and Snugglebug have made great strides in their language development since we first consulted with a speech therapist over three years ago. Still, there are some words they use which can only be understood by family; and Curlytop still serves as a Snugglebug-to-English translator all too often. Music Store Bob’s wife, Brenda, watched the … Read more
Bad Gratitude Monday: A Fearless Kid
I spent the summer of 1994 in the library at Fairchild Air Force Base, where Pockets’s dad was stationed, because I was 19 years old, enormously pregnant, and on a quest to read every book on pregnancy and childbirth that the United States military saw fit to stack on its shelves. Plus, the library was … Read more
Orange You Glad I Didn’t Say "Banana?"
This is the dawning of the Age of the Knock-Knock Jokethe Age of the Knock-Knock Joke the Age of the Knock-Knock Joooooooke… And so, it begins. At the age of four, Pockets started making up his own knock-knock jokes. They were really good, too, like: Knock-knock! Who’s there? Moo! Moo who? It’s me, A COW! … Read more
The Curse of the Mothers
(Yeah, that’s me. That photo was taken in May of my senior year of high school. What a hottie, huh?) When I was about sixteen years old, my mother expressed her earnest desire that, someday, I would have a daughter just like me. I wish I could say that her statement was a well-wishing of … Read more
I’m Much Too Young to Feel This Damn Old
ALERT: There is absolutely no humor in this post. It’s nothing but a “The Gonzo Mama feeling sorry for herself” post. You’ve been warned. I can’t really say when this feeling began. Perhaps the breaking point was waking up one morning and finding that I’d become the un-expectant mother of seven children at the ripe … Read more
Mommy is NOT a Jungle Gym
Just a note to my two beautiful toddlers: Mommy is not a jungle gym. Oh, sure… Mommy’s body may be solid and rail-thin, but let’s not get her confused with the monkey bars. While I’m at it, I’d like to clear up a few other misunderstandings… To my pre-teen girls: Mommy is not a laundry … Read more
Wife, Mother… Exhibitionist
To date, I have subjected three generations of Wright men to the horror of my naked body. My husband, the middle Wright, seems unharmed by the experience, but it’s unlikely that the eldest and youngest of the clan escaped permanent scarring. Neighbors, parcel deliverymen and some unsuspecting Jehovah’s Witnesses have also been victimized, but I … Read more
What Generation Gap?
Staying on the cutting edge of parental coolness is hard work, but I’m committed. In fact, I go out of my way to let my kids know how hip I am, and I’m dedicated to bridging the so-called Generation Gap. What is that, anyway? Sure, there’s a world of difference between my parents’ generation and … Read more
